I go back to school full time next week. I’m very very nervous. I registered for 18 units. I sure hope that I can do this. I also have to finish the rest of my step work. I’m just about done with step 4. My sponsor was supposed to come over last night, but called and said that she was really exhausted. I need to talk to her because I’m harboring a lot of resentments right now. I’m angry at her for leaving me. I’m angry at her for finding me, letting me in, letting me love her, and now moving away. I know that sounds selfish. She needs to make a better life for herself. I’m just so damn sad about her leaving.
I’m so damn mad at my brother in the fellowship. He should of known better. He knows the rules. He knows how things works. He knows the guidelines that our sponor’s lay down for us. How could he think that I was wanting more then what was allowed? Uugggghhh!!! I’m just so irritated right now.
I need to pray…I’ll be back.
Cin
Good luck with School, it’s natural to be nervous, I know I get nervous every time I take a course for work.
As for the other stuff, just hang in there, the feelings will either pass or dull over time and these things have a way of working themselves out.
Tristam~ I know that your words speak much truth my friend. I always tend to get myself all worked up over nothing! lol And yes the feelings are starting to dull already. Thanks for reading and sharing your insight. It is much appreciated.
Cin: It’s so sad that your sponsor is moving. I know how that feels. It’s hard in the program to watch people come and go when we have a hard time with change already! I hope you hang in there and keep doing what you’re doing.
Also, on Step 4. It brings up a lot of feelings. Don’t rush through it. If you don’t feel like you’re done, you probably aren’t. And maybe you’re not supposed to be yet. It can add to your anxiety. That step is HUGE!! Here’s a huge hug for ya sis. Take care of yourself.
greeneyes~ Yeah I’m totally bummed out about her moving, but I know that it’s for the best. She just can’t make it financially out here. I’ve done a 4th step before so this time just didn’t feel so cleansing or painful. Don’t know if that makes sense? Thank you so much for all of your love. You’re the best!
you seem in the same mood I am today.. Hopefully the future will bring even better things for you.. I hate change, but sometimes change is for the best!
Vonda~ Yeah I just seem to be in a little bit of a funk lately. This too shall pass…I know it. And yes…change is always a very good thing my friend!
There is no doubt that you can do anything that your mind is put too. 18 CH may seem like a lot. But it’s also no different than each step you’ve taken
with your NA. Sometimes there will be an ease to making it to class, other times it’ll be a grind to make it. But you can do anything that you choose to do.
Good luck with your school stuff.I have learned for some people its not a good thing to do too much at once because stress can really make you sick.Alot of one thing I think is better than a bunch of little things all added together if that makes sense.
Everyone is different though and some people really thrive when they stay busy.I am not one of those people.
You will do awesome in school. Remember, all we can do is live life one day at a time. ((HUGS))