It’s nice to be missed. It’s nice to be loved. It’s nice to be cared about. I really appreciate all of it. I really do. I just can’t seem to find my place here or on the new JS. I’m so busy with school and recovery. I just finished my 5th step today. It was such a cleansing experience. I feel such a peace. I wish I could describe it. What an amazing journey I am on. Wow. What can I say. I just want to write and write until I can get it all out. To be able to share my life experience with my sponsor who loves me and who doesn’t judge me is the ultimate gift.
The sponsor promised me that if I worked my steps honestly that I would find serenity…and I can truly say that she is right. I’m not totally there yet. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Something amazing has started to happen to me just recently. Just rececently I have been able to look at myself in the mirror…look at myself in the mirror and say…I love you. Look at myself in the mirror and actually like what I see.
That is growth. That is a miracle. I am so fucking blessed. I love my life and I cant wait to see what is around the corner. I can’t wait to be able to start helping other addicts in need. I want to be able to witness the miracle of someone else’s recovery. My heart is just so full right now.
I am so grateful to God for sparing my life. I am so grateful to him for not taking me when I was so sick in my addiction. There were so many time when I should of died. But he had a bigger purpose in store for me. I can see it now.
Cin